The End of My China Travels

Jack and I have made it back from Xi'an and survived two 22 hour train rides as well as getting a little lost in a strange city. We managed to see the Terra Cotta Soldiers, the Shaangxi Museum, and ride bikes around the city wall. It was a pretty fun trip and I loved spending time with Jack. Now back in Hangzhou, I have pretty much all of my belongings packed away and ready for the next trip back home. I've been so excited for this moment, and I can't really believe it's happening. It has been 5 months! I don't know where that time went and now I feel disoriented at the fact that I have a whole other life waiting for me on the other side of the world! I've missed home a lot, and until now it has just been an idea in my head. Soon it will be a reality. I have a lot I am bringing back with me and things I want to apply to my life back in the states. China has definitely been a worthwhile adventure not only because it has been fun, but because it has been difficult. I'm certainly not done with my adventures, but I am finally closing the chapter on my studies in China.

Now that I've truly lived outside of my comfort zone for a fair amount of time, I feel like I know where I'm needed and where I belong. I thought that coming to China might give me insight on how to help them resolve some their problems, but now I really realize where I need to start is right at home. Just because China isn't the U.S. doesn't mean it needs the U.S. to help it be better. They have a lot of problems, but for China to maintain it's identity they need to be resolved by the people on their own terms. With time China will come into it's own. What we can do is be a better example of what a developed country is by turning around some trends we have set in motion. China is already doing better than the states in some aspects, but they certainly aren't avoiding all of our mistakes. By following the status quo at the moment, many people are achieving a better quality of life here, but many others are still getting left behind and disenfranchised. And since China has so many people, it's on one of the largest scales ever known.

I find that life here can be summed up to one thing. Waiting in line. Everyone gathers to get what they want and what they need. Then they have to keep pushing and pushing each other to guarantee that they will get it. There is so much competition and struggle to get by in day to day life that there is no room for personal space or passive pleasantry. You either push or get pushed out of the way. Some people don't really have the ability to push back. This isn't like in the states where we are pretty much guaranteed what we need and want. Even just being an average U.S. citizen is glamorous compared to the life of average people here. WE. ARE. SPOILED. And because we have been spoiled, we think we deserve to be without really working for it or appreciating it. People here work for everything. Hopefully when I get back, I might be just a little less spoiled. I certainly appreciate what I have a lot more. I am forever changed, but only as a better Jackie, not a different one.