Two days in a row? Impossible!

My mother demands more blogs, so here I go trying to fulfill those demands. Today is Wednesday. Soon I'm going to go to the little cafe on campus to meet with May and listen to English songs such as Frank Sinatra. She has turned out to be a really good friend, and when she has some free time she promises to take me out with some of her friends around Hangzhou. I don't know if I mentioned this, but she is working on genetic research involved in human fertility. Pretty interesting. She is also the mother of a young son who I can tell she adores. She is simply a decent, caring, and intelligent person. I've met a lot of people like that here. I think most people who decide to come to China instead of somewhere more "cushy" must be somewhat educated about the world , and that many people here in China are some of the hardest working and most sane people I've ever met.

This may sound wrong but they seem......innocent. They don't seem marred at all by bad things in this world, but accept it in stride and continue on with their lives. This may also be partially them being kept in the dark by their government covering up the bad things. I think even if they were allowed to know things they aren't "supposed to know", the Chinese mentality would let them bounce back. Maintaining honor and keeping face is important in Chinese culture, but so is adjusting to change. Sometimes I think it's not so much that people don't realize the bad stuff, it's that they realize there are more important things. That we still have to live our day to day lives and we might as well enjoy it. So who's more insane? Those who tend to dwell on problems or those who tend to cover them up? I'm not sure. All I know is that the two are different.

This has been yet another blog where I start talking about something and go off on to some philosophical tangent. I never really know what I'll be writing about until it's done. You've read it. You can't unread it!

notes:

-listening test was pretty easy

-It's been sunny the past few days

-pac man's is delicious as usual and surprisingly doesn't get old

-I've played way too much minesweeper

-There's no such thing as too much sleep

-Eating a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios feels like home

-More soon

Half Way Done

So, soon I am getting ready to go to my Speaking Class midterm test. It's weird to think that I'm halfway done with my semester here. Sometimes it feels like more and sometimes it feels like less. I have two other tests this week, but this one is probably the one I'm most worried for. At least I'm getting it over with first I guess? Soon we will see how well my Chinese has come along, or at least how lazy I've been. I'm one of those people who kind of tends to absorb things easily, so sometimes I don't really try that hard, but with Chinese we just keep learning MORE and MORE words. I start learning the new ones and forgetting the old ones. I feel like a sponge that is almost at it's saturation point. The good thing is that after these tests, we have a long weekend, a class trip, and a trip to Beijing. So I will get a little bit of a break from the cramming. Hopefully the words will settle into the little crevices of my brain to stay for good.

I guess you could say I'm getting a little home sick. I'm definitely not sad all the time or anything, just longing for some familiar creature comforts. I did get an amazing package from my mother, whom I know will be reading this, so THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! once again. You kick butt at being a Madre. It definitely made my day. :D .....I think what gets to me most here is still just sticking out so much. I like low key situations, not making a scene just by existing. It really strains me sometimes, but I try to be gracious. Still, even I'm not a saint (More speaking of my expectations of myself as opposed to others). So to blow off some steam, some friends and I went to Coco Club here this past weekend. There was a lot of people, a lot of smoke, and a lot of noise. I danced like a fool, drank two bottles of water, and sweated just as much. So much fun. So much for not sticking out :P

...wish me luck!

Latent Potential

It's been a while since my last post. This is because not much of interest is really going on at the moment. I've kind of just made my way into a regular routine and now there's not much to write about. Classes are going better and better, but they are still a lot of work. I have a test over our entire first book on Thursday and Midterms are coming up in a couple weeks. I'm not terribly concerned, but I still need to just DO the review. Initiating things is not my strong point, but once I get going it's pretty easy.

My speaking inside of class has improved and I'm getting a little bit more confident with my abilities. I think I just stopped putting so much pressure on myself, and now that I'm relaxed, my brain doesn't fumble as much. It also helps that I am really comfortable with my class mates. I've become pretty good friends with a couple and all of them are pretty easy to talk to. The nice thing about this kind of situation is that everybody comes from different backgrounds, so we all tend to give each other a little more slack. Or at least that's how it seems to me.

The nice thing about having a routine is that I can slow down and contemplate where I'm at in my life and how this experience is changing me. Essentially I haven't really changed much at all, instead I feel it is as if I am tapping into my latent potential. I feel as if I understand myself and the world a little bit better. Being unsheltered and uninhibited is pretty great when you learn to have to have the proper mental fortitude and flexibility.

China has a different feel than the United States. There are a lot less rules and regulations. This means things often get more messy and chaotic, but I feel there is freedom in the chaos. Things are more go with the flow and things get done when they get done. I really like it. You are expected to be more responsible for yourself instead of having all these tedious rules to regulate you. Just don't be an idiot and you will be fine! For the most part. There are still plenty of things I don't like about China, and it still isn't home. I find the longer I'm here, the more vibrant my memories of home are and the more I appreciate it. But I also know that China will always have a piece of me and that I will always carry it with me.