I So Hate Goodbyes

Today was the last day of classes for me here in China. I've been so excited about seeing my friends at home, that I let myself forget for a little while all the new people I'm saying goodbye to. I sat next to my friend Ming Dao for the last time in grammar class. In listening we all stood in front of the class and said some things to everyone. I nearly cried, even though we were all cracking jokes.

Tonight is our last class dinner and afterwards we are going to KTV. It should be a lot of fun, and hopefully I'll feel a little bit more closure. I always hate endings and I always hate goodbyes. I get like this at the end of every semester, but this is a bit different. These people I may never see again. Even if I never got terribly close with some of them, I feel an inevitable connection from just spending so much time around them. But that's just kind of life. You just get to know something and then you have to leave it behind.

Now I have two days off and a lot of studying to do. I've been really slacking off the past few days and now need to play catch up. I know I should do pretty well on the tests, but I still cant help this dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of their approach. Worry is a disease and mine is chronic.

In the end I have a few regrets, like I usually do. I always feel at the end of things like I didn't do enough, that I should have tried more, and that weighs heavy on my heart. Luckily there are always new chances that I have to look forward to. I'm really going to try not to take for granted what I have or have had.