Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I So Hate Goodbyes

Today was the last day of classes for me here in China. I've been so excited about seeing my friends at home, that I let myself forget for a little while all the new people I'm saying goodbye to. I sat next to my friend Ming Dao for the last time in grammar class. In listening we all stood in front of the class and said some things to everyone. I nearly cried, even though we were all cracking jokes.
Tonight is our last class dinner and afterwards we are going to KTV. It should be a lot of fun, and hopefully I'll feel a little bit more closure. I always hate endings and I always hate goodbyes. I get like this at the end of every semester, but this is a bit different. These people I may never see again. Even if I never got terribly close with some of them, I feel an inevitable connection from just spending so much time around them. But that's just kind of life. You just get to know something and then you have to leave it behind.
Now I have two days off and a lot of studying to do. I've been really slacking off the past few days and now need to play catch up. I know I should do pretty well on the tests, but I still cant help this dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of their approach. Worry is a disease and mine is chronic.
In the end I have a few regrets, like I usually do. I always feel at the end of things like I didn't do enough, that I should have tried more, and that weighs heavy on my heart. Luckily there are always new chances that I have to look forward to. I'm really going to try not to take for granted what I have or have had.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Not much longer till....

Not much longer till classes are over! and I get to eat sweet sweet American food and see all of my dear friends! Just a little over a week of actual classes, then three tests spread out over a week, and then a week to travel with Jack to Xi An and wherever else the wind blows us. Good thing too because it is going to be difficult surviving in this heat! It is getting into the hot and wet season here, so looooooots of humidity and just grossness. I'm excited to have some free time to finish off my Chinese shopping list and see a little more of China! I'm not excited about having to leave Jack and my friend May behind. :'(
Last weekend May and I went out for a little girls night, her treat, where we ate some of the most delicious shrimp I've ever had and then had a nice relaxing foot rub. It was pretty much heavenly. We just chatted and got to know each other even better. I'm so glad I was able to meet and get close to a wonderfully sweet Chinese friend while I've been here. It can be difficult with the language and cultural barriers to actually feel close to someone and relate to them. Luckily somehow I found a kindred spirit working just as hard(if not harder) to learn English as I am Chinese :). What I am going to have to do is find some way to treat her to something special before I leave. And possibly Jack can take over tutoring her where I left off, though I think I can say her English has improved quite a bit ;).
As for my trip with Jack, I'm pretty optimistic. Ashley and Mike have already been to Xi An and had a pretty good experience. Plus we can learn from some of their mishaps on what not to do :P. Thanks for being the guinea pigs! jk. Plus we get to see the Terra Cotta soldiers for reals! I think It will be a great way to wrap up my adventures here in China and spend some quality time with Jack before I go.
For the most part, my experience here might be called mundane with highlights, but that's just kind of me. I enjoy the mundane and the exciting. The ordinary and the extraordinary. And what are the extraordinary things without the ordinary in between? I feel as if I have really gotten the feel of this place and it's people, and that is how I remember things; by their feel, not their names etc. (Which can be troublesome) I constantly observe while not necessarily putting distinctions on things. Sometimes distinguishing things makes them lose their meaning. Though sometimes I've been at odds with my surroundings, I've always managed to come back to my center and take everything for what it's worth.
Some of the things that were planned didn't happen, such as learning to roast tea and I have yet to see if the pictures will work out (sad I know). It seems they were just kind of empty promises for appearances, but that's something else I have learned. It just really proves that you need to watch out for yourself more here, which is a good life lesson. Some things that weren't planned also happened, such as meeting May, realizing a new spirituality, and getting to know myself. That is one of the greatest blessings ever.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Hiccemup Trucks

It is Saturday today and because China is weird, we have classes. We have a three day holiday mon, tues, and wed so both Saturday and Sunday morning 我们上课. The worst part is I have a big test Sunday morning as well! What the DEUCE! This is trespassing upon the sanctity of the weekend. If I were to look at this objectively, most people in China don't really have a weekend considering they don't have a "holy day" or anything like that, so I'm just experiencing another part of the culture. But you know what I think about that? WEH! Just push the stupid test to later in the week at least! The fate of the world might be at stake. I think I felt a rip in the space time continuum this morning when I woke up at 7.

-Me and my pEng yOus are qu-ing to Shanghai over break
-starting level 2 type stuff after this test
-definitely time to do laundry
-Trying to maintain motivation
-remembering Abi
-remembering home
-just 3 weeks of school and then one week of FREEDOM till I come home!
-I must study and do laundry now

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Abigail MacQueen

So, I got some pretty awful news yesterday. A friend from Scotland I had met here in China passed away the other day from kidney failure. Her name was Abi and she was just outrageous, or maybe it only seemed that way because of her Scottish accent. She had just returned home and after only a little while needed to be hospitalized. Nobody really knows what caused it or if she came in contact with something while in China, but either way it just doesn't seem fair. She was so full of life and probably liked just about everyone. She taught me a little bit about letting go and having a good time. About doing your thing while you have time to do it. I'd only known her a short time, and just in time I guess. I'm glad she got back in time to be with her friends and family, and I guess we are all going to have to just live a little extra to make up for the loss. Still I wonder how these things can just happen and why to certain people. There isn't really any rhyme or reason to it. Just our ability to accept it or not.
In honor of Abi, I'll accept it and try to live my life to the fullest. And I'm still going to find a guy with an even more epic last name for her :)