Latent Potential

It's been a while since my last post. This is because not much of interest is really going on at the moment. I've kind of just made my way into a regular routine and now there's not much to write about. Classes are going better and better, but they are still a lot of work. I have a test over our entire first book on Thursday and Midterms are coming up in a couple weeks. I'm not terribly concerned, but I still need to just DO the review. Initiating things is not my strong point, but once I get going it's pretty easy.

My speaking inside of class has improved and I'm getting a little bit more confident with my abilities. I think I just stopped putting so much pressure on myself, and now that I'm relaxed, my brain doesn't fumble as much. It also helps that I am really comfortable with my class mates. I've become pretty good friends with a couple and all of them are pretty easy to talk to. The nice thing about this kind of situation is that everybody comes from different backgrounds, so we all tend to give each other a little more slack. Or at least that's how it seems to me.

The nice thing about having a routine is that I can slow down and contemplate where I'm at in my life and how this experience is changing me. Essentially I haven't really changed much at all, instead I feel it is as if I am tapping into my latent potential. I feel as if I understand myself and the world a little bit better. Being unsheltered and uninhibited is pretty great when you learn to have to have the proper mental fortitude and flexibility.

China has a different feel than the United States. There are a lot less rules and regulations. This means things often get more messy and chaotic, but I feel there is freedom in the chaos. Things are more go with the flow and things get done when they get done. I really like it. You are expected to be more responsible for yourself instead of having all these tedious rules to regulate you. Just don't be an idiot and you will be fine! For the most part. There are still plenty of things I don't like about China, and it still isn't home. I find the longer I'm here, the more vibrant my memories of home are and the more I appreciate it. But I also know that China will always have a piece of me and that I will always carry it with me.